Mind to Darkness
In nearly every sliver of warming light my conscious turns away, averting its gaze to the cold comfort of darkness. Even amidst its enchanting matras, it fears the light of progression for all the change and new consideration that it brings. The friction of evolution, the uncertainty of progression, the possibility to fail. The progressive ideal is easy to recite, to echo out in self justification, but the embodiment of such is a far different undertaking. Ideal versus execution delineates the abstract from the tangible, the latter holding superiority in its ability to move and influence that which surrounds and connects to it.
The lines on my face and hands are so vivid in light. The dirt and scars so lush with horrid stories. The light, with open eyes and sharpness of focus, brings so much truth and detail, that it becomes almost too much to bear for a such a brittle and voracious ego. Reflections of bitter memory buried in darkness are easily unearthed by the rays of truth’s transparency. They present themselves directly before my eyes, forcing me to consider the reality of their existence. With no shadow or shade in which to hide the revelation of the brightness of truth overwhelms and cripples the ability to ignore that which plagues with perplexity.
The darkness is so much easier. To be blind is to simplify. Ignorance is truly bliss. The habit and prevalence of willful ignorance is a topic worthy of novels in itself. The hazy opaque blanket of shade is a welcome aid to avoiding the faces of reality that confront the essence of my progression. Lost behind the veil of obscurity, life and the perception thereof is so much more palpable and enjoyable.
So then, I set my mind to darkness, where that cold comfort brings the reassuring support of obscurity and stagnace. Leaving this ego an empty canvas with which to paint its fearsome securities. Burrowing down into the stagnancy of safety, rooting feet and gaze into ground and the dead, settled earth below me.
This is the face of my regression. I know well the darkness, but it is vision that I seek. Awareness of my way is the inception of change. I must rise from the darkness to seek out the light. I raise my gaze to meet the face of my progression.
I will confront the full consciousness of my reality.
I will go no further with fear.